Recently, I made the life choice of buying age appropriate shorts. I have been wearing the same shorts since I was twenty-two years old and it was time that they grew a little in the length department. Therefore, I went out and bought some longer shorts at Anne Taylor (
these). They were still shorts and not
too long, but they still make me feel kind of old. But despite the fact that I don't love them, I am sucking it up because I am almost thirty and can't run around in short shorts anymore.
In addition, I purchased a pair of knee length shorts (above) because I have a friend who I saw rocking them while wearing a pair of wedges. I thought, maybe I can rock them too? So I bought a pair to try and mimic her style. Big mistake.
Que me entering the living room in said knee length shorts.
Dan: Wow. Hi Mom shorts.
Me: What. The. Fuck.
Dan: I mean, they look cute. What made you decide to buy those?
Me: You are rude, I am not talking to you.
Dan: Oh come-on. I'm not saying anything. You are so sexy, you can totally pull those off.
Me: What do you mean by "pull those off"? What is there to "pull off"?
Dan: I really swear, they look good on you. I just don't understand why you bought them.
Me: Stop talking.
Dan: They are cute, they are just long and I remember you calling them Mom-ish-
Me: STOP TALKING.
Dan: I am going to stop talking.
Me: You do that.
This is quasi odd behavior because my husband knows better then to make such statements, and while I know he didn't really mean anything by it, now I am going to wear this shorts all the freaking time j
ust to make a point that you don't say things like that. I think in most marriages it would be the opposite, i.e., if the husband said some criticizing remarks about an item of clothes the wife would stop wearing the outfit, but that's not really how our marriage rolls. I am never going to take them off. I am going to sleep in these shorts. I am going to shower in these shorts. These shorts are my new staple.
Mom shorts. Phesh.