Yesterday was not a good day. In fact, it might rank right up there with one of the worst days ever, but it definitely, definitely wins the grossest.
Dan takes Kadira out every morning at whatever ungodly hour he wakes up at. More often then not, when he gets up I have literally only been asleep for maybe 3 hours. Kadira then goes on a walk, eats breakfast, and then
she makes pretty flowers. Because that is what dogs do after they eat, they
make pretty flowers.
You following me? Because I am not going to say it in case anybody reading this just so happens to be eating.
Right before Dan leaves for work he puts her back in her crate and I usually get her out at around 10 (after I have some coffee, and mentally prepare myself to deal with all her shenanigans for the day). So at around 8:30 I am still sleeping like a baby because I could not fall asleep the night before and was up until 3 AM watching Kardashian reruns and RHNJ marathons. Then I hear Kadira barking and whining and pounding at her crate from the other room. She always does this when she wants out, but I hesitated to go right away because I was exhausted and she still had a good 1.5 hours until she's used to getting out of her crate. So I waited...and waited until she calmed down. Then, I finally got out of bed and went into the other room where we keep her crate to let her out.
Every morning Toby trots behind me to go greet his little sister, but this morning when we walked into the hallway he turned around and hightailed it under the bed. Then I was hit with the smell...
the smell of pretty flowers....and when I opened the door PRETTY FLOWERS WERE EVERYWHERE.
Flashback to last night.
I made a really disgusting dinner. So gross that Dan and I both took a bite and were like "oh my god this is awful." As a joke, I gave Kadira an ity bity bite of the dinner, to see if she would even eat it (I promise it contained nothing harmful to dogs, but we traditionally don't feed her table scraps so she wont start begging at the table. The dinner was so bad, however, that I did not have the fear of her begging at the table for more.). Well apparently she liked it, because unbeknown to me she ate some out of the trash can that night. Dan caught her in the act and thought that she didn't eat that much...but apparently it was enough to really upset her stomach.
I proceeded to put Kadira in the backyard and attempt to clean up the mess. I am pretty sure a Hazmat team should have been called in because it was that terrible, toxic of a situation. I threw in piles of towels we had lining her crate (lovely), sprayed off her crate with a hose (we had not used the hose since last summer, AKA, lots of spiders), sprayed off Kadira with a hose (she was not amused), and then cleaned the carpet with my fabulous new
Woolite Rug Stick (its amazing, I totally swear by it). Finally things were under control about an hour and a half later.
Oh but it gets better.
At the time I did not know she had dabbled in last night's dinner, so the only thing I could think of was that maybe she had heat stroke or something. I ran upstairs to get a fan that she could lay in front of downstairs while napping. I took my eyes off her for five seconds. FIVE SECONDS.
Pretty flowers all over the office carpet.
I have now spent over 4 hours cleaning carpets. Dan had to come home from work and help me because she is so sick and the carpets were so bad that I had to go rent a rug doctor, and if you are going to pay to rent the damn thing you obviously have to do all of your carpets. So I washed all the carpets in our house, because you know, I have nothing better to do with my day.
I am happy to report Kadira is feeling much better.
The carpets look better then ever.
And I need a glass, nay, bottle, of wine.