Yesterday was not a good day, not a good day at all.
Let me just preface this story with the statement that getting Kadira spayed was not my job. It was the job of a second human being that lives in our house. In fairness to that second human being, the spaying issue became a larger undertaking then either of us imagined. It was going to cost a lot of money and there was going to be a longer recovery time then we thought. So we kept putting it off....and off...and off. Once she got to the age where we were really starting to risk it, I kept saying "if she goes into heat and I have to take care of her I will be ANGRY." I would always emphasize the word "angry" with a growl and a scrunched up face that resembled something like this:
So obviously, terrifying.
Yesterday it was raining buckets here in the grand ol' state of Texas. On days where I wake up to hear the wind howling and thunder pounding I like to stay in bed for as long as possible because I know the second I get out of bed I am going to have to take Kadira outside in that mess, and that is not a pleasant thought when you first wake up in the morning. I can normally hear her start getting restless in the other room, but this morning I heard nothing. After awhile I convinced myself to get out of bed and proceeded into the other bedroom where we keep her crate. Upon entering the room I was not greeted by her normal wagging tail and bark. Rather, she was laying in her crate with her ears pinned back and her eyes wide with fear. Yes ladies and gentlemen, my dog became a women, and it totally was freaking her out.
Upon finding this I let out a huge wail which definitely included some expletives and the name of the second human being who lives in this house. I have never been around a dog in heat, I have no idea what to do. I immediately texted Dan to hold true to my threat that "IF THIS DOGS GOES INTO HEAT YOU WILL TAKE TIME OFF WORK TO DEAL WITH IT!" Unfortunately for me, this threat did not go over so well as I soon found myself driving to Petco for doggie diapers in the pouring rain with no makeup on donning some super sexy Old Navy sweatpants.
The doggie diaper thing really bothers me. I stopped babysitting at the age of 12 because I hated changing diapers, the last thing that I wanted to do that morning was get a diaper on my 90 pound German Shepard who was already in a pissy mood because nobody had "the talk" with her about becoming a woman. Coupled with the fact that the sixteen year old girl at Petco kindly informed me that I should go buy people maxi pads to place in the diaper as lining, as they are cheaper then doggie maxi pads. Sweet gesture, but I really wasn't in the place to be discussing the cost benefit analysis of "doggie maxie pads" versus "people maxie pads" that early in the morning.
Getting Kadira into her diaper requires WWF "The Rock" like strength. She hates it, obviously, and I must say it is not her best look. She keeps letting out low whines which I can only imagine translates to "whyyyy didddddn'ttttt yoooooouuuuu sttteralize meeeee yoooouuu arrreeee baddddd parenttttsss!" This was the only picture she would let me take of her, you can see how embarrassed she is. Please don't tell her I put it on the internet, she would be so mortified.
So...this will be my next nine days in a nutshell. I think the only one less happy about it then me is Kadira.