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July 31, 2009

The Divorce Intro

So everybody has now seen the video of the best wedding intro EVER (and if you haven't, you can go HERE to check it out.) My friend Stephanie just sent me the rebuttal version of the dance: The Divorce Intro. It is hysterical. Check it out.

July 30, 2009

Bad Packer

Today was spent packing, packing, packing. And by packing, I mean Dan packed and I watched. Then I got up and looked at the empty boxes. Looked at all the stuff there was to pack. Got tired and sat back down.

See this is my problem. I am a bad packer. I like to have all my boxes in pretty piles, perfectly set up and organized according to room. Dan just dumps things in boxes and tapes them up. Hence his 25 boxes packed to my 5. Then I burnt the pizza which was my only task for the day. Total wife failure.

That being said, I decided to try and conquer all the crap in my bathroom by putting EVERYTHING ON THE SINK and trying to determine what products were going to stay and what products were going to go (See? Now is not the time for organizing but that is what I am doing because I'm CRAZY!) True to form, I threw out like 3 bottles that were empty and vowed I'd used the rest.

We were supposed to leave tomorrow but are waiving the white flag and shooting for Saturday morning. I'll keep you updated. I'm sure you are on the edge of your seat. I'm going to now watch Al Sharpton and Ann Colter argue on Larry King and yell at my television because I am PSMing.

Thursday Video

Here is a video to get your blood boiling this morning. As Rachel Maddow said, "It is somewhere between eyebrow raising and breathtaking to have such blunt, unvarnished race baiting so forward in our national political discourse." She always says exactly what I am thinking...except far more eloquently, without swearing, or offending anybody.

When I get enough energy I will also launch into an angry tiraid about why we need a public health insurance option in this county.

July 29, 2009

Oh Happy Day!

I am going to need everybody to go ahead and click on this video. Go ahead, click on it. Make sure you keep it going as you keep reading.

Turn up the volume people. Turn it up.

Are you ready for it?

Are you sure?

(at least not for six months)


Today was the last day of the bar exam. Three days of testing and 15 glorious hours of physically taking an examination (in which I was not allowed coffee, nor water on my desk. Murder. Me. Please.) Tragically, I have no funny stories. Nobody puked during my exam (I have heard stories). Nobody BROKE THEIR FOOT RIGHT BEFORE MY EXAM (you know who you are...and I love you.) The worst that happened was a concert that went on today in the quad right next to our window during the last hour of the MBE. That was (not) good times.

It is definitely not something that I ever want to do again, but that being said, I don't really know if I passed. I also don't know if I failed. I am in bar purgatory for the next few months. Idaho has about a 70% pass rate...which means 9 people in my room failed. Good news is I got questions on Wills, Trusts, AND Community Property which are my money subjects. Bad news is I also got a super difficult Secured Transactions, Contracts, and Con Law set.

Here is what I know for sure. There will be no more bar talk on this blog. I am putting a moratorium on all bar talk FOREVER! From now on I am acting under the presumption that I am bar free until further notice... while I fully deserve to lay in the bed for the next 24 hours watching trashy TV and eating ice cream I will be packing up my apartment to move to Dallas in two days.

But I am back to blogging! Oh how I MISSED you!

July 26, 2009

Please Excuse My Absence...

21 Topics
400 flashcards
200 pages of typed (and retyped) outlines
40 pages of handwritten notes
9 evil, evil books
1 IPOD full of 60 hours of lecture
75 + practice tests


Please excuse my absence for the next couple days...and wish me luck!

Sunday Post

New post, Shortest Story, posted up on Seven Dames a Week.

July 25, 2009

Neck Slimmer

So I come home from nine hours at the library. I am exhausted. I am pissed. I am in grumpy, grumpy mood. I sit down to watch mindless trashy television (Kendra). I am sitting there..brain numb...when during a commercial I see an ad, for...wait for it....wait for it....a neck slimmer.


So I think to myself, "how the heck does this make your neck slimmer?"

Well then the best part happens. They show this little neck slimming contraption thing.

And I died laughing.

DIED. Laughing.

I Hate Morning People

It is 7 AM. That is right people A.M., as in 7 ante meridiem. I have not seen 7 AM all summer. I do not believe in getting up before 8, but I realized that the bar exam starts on Monday at 8...and we lose an hour. Thus I have been setting my alarm for 6 and trying to get my body used to functioning at such an ungodly hour (and by 6 I mean I hit my snooze for like 45 minutes).

During this whole adjustment process I just keep thinking how our society is so cruel to make people be at work at 8 in the morning. It totally disadvantages people who like to sleep in (like me). Why should I have reset my biological clock merely because Mr. Bossman wants us all there for an 8 AM meeting? Whereas I am lucky to actually take a shower before 8, "morning people" have already ran eight miles, taken a shower, read the paper, and solved global warning. Plus "morning people" always have a superiority complexes and look down on us "night owls." Its as if they think they are more productive members of society merely because they can get up at the crack of dawn and not feel like something smashed their head in with a anvil (like I do right now).

I hate morning people...

...and I say that with all the love I can muster as my husband sits in the other room on the second hour of his practice MBE.

July 24, 2009

Your Friday Video

I would so watch more CSPAN if it was autotuned (thanks Ryan) Note the best part is at :50. OMG dying. HELL NO!

July 23, 2009

Chocolate Rehab

The other day Dan caught me squeezing ice cream chocolate syrup onto my finger and licking it off. It was a moment of self weakness. Definitely qualifies as our most embarrassing relationship moment so far. It was the kind of thing you only do when you are single and don't live with anybody else. I had not had chocolate for DAYS. I was TIRED. And I needed something SWEET. I opened the fridge and gazed at the contents internally willing a chocolate cake to magically appear. It did not. Since there was nothing in the house I desperately reached for the ice cream syrup and squeezed the tiniest bit on my finger and greedily licked it off. When Dan came around the corner he caught me dead in my tracks. Embarrassing. I mean Dan's my husband and all, but there is not need for him to see me like a junkie shooting up a dark alley.

Tonight Dan bought me truffles. "There is no need for that to ever happen again." He said while patting me on the head condescendingly. He has managed to bring up "The Chocolate Incident" five times in the last two days and keeps referring to my need for chocolate rehab.

"Shut-up!" I said angrily as I reached for the my Special K cereal and began picking out all the yogurt bits and popping them into my mouth.

"Want to know what your problem is?" Dan said with a smirk.

"What?" Not really wanting to know.

"You are a grazer. Unless I cook something for you, you will never make something for yourself. Its like the second you get hungry you are so overcome with famine that you can't..."

Dan stops because I am glaring at him with an are you seriously analyzing your wife's eating habits look. "That I can't what?" I said, daring him to finish.

"That you can't even put your cereal into a bowl or your chocolate on ice cream."

I stare down at the Special K box that now contains no more yogurt bits.

Duoly Noted.

Links You Must Check Out

Seriously. I really am studying. Its only 11:30 and I've already completed two subjects and taken 6 practice essay tests....but after each one I am allowed to check my google reader and there are some very important links that I wanted to share.

First, do you think they just made THIS necklace crazy expensive so that women would buy it and feel like a bargain shopper when they ended up getting it on such a massive discount? (via Corporette).

Second, I have solved my problem of being lonely while taking Toby on walks by myself. Its mildly creepy, but ya know, satisfying nonetheless. (via Design Milk).

Third and Fourth, I have two new cooking goals. First, to cook THIS fabulous Mixed Basil Pesto recipe (in my new blender, thanks Jen). TOTALLY looks like something I could handle and delicious...despite the fact that I have no idea where to find basil in the store (next to the lettuce?) My second cooking goal is to make these Rainbow Cakes. I mean SERIOUSLY. How much fun does this look?? I think the whole time I was trying to make them I would be smiling my face off, even if they didn't turn out. (via Playing House, truly the best cooking blog out there).

Enjoy! Now back to Evidence...

July 22, 2009

Best. Friend. Ever.

The other night my dear friend Katherine called me and told me not to eat dinner the next night. I was like "Huh? What are you talking about? Why wouldn't I eat dinner? Are you coming into town? Do you think I'm fat? What is going on?" but she screamed into the phone "GIVE INTO THE SURPRISE AND STOP QUESTIONING EVERYTHING!!!" So I was like "Okay, okay, calm down. I will give into the surprise."

And lo and behold she bought me my FAVORITE PIZZA ever tonight for dinner. Isn't she the coolest friend ever? Want to know what makes her even cooler? She doesn't even live in Spokane. She doesn't even live in WA. She lives in Denver, CO and still bought me a pizza. Despite the fact that I made her wear a strapless red dress in my wedding.

Best. Friend. Ever.


I am having a crying fit right now. Total balls out laughing so hard I am crying. Maggie thank you so much for sending me the BEST YOUTUBE VIDEO EVER! I am now on a MISSION to convince my best friend Maria that we need to do this at her wedding. MISSION!

Is It Just Me?

Or is THIS footage really upsetting?

July 21, 2009

Fun Quiz via Girl v. The World

One of my favorite bloggers over at Girl v. The World tagged me in a fantastically fun survey- and since I'm a total sucker for these things, here we go...

Make a list of things you can see without getting up:

My glass of shiraz wine. My blackberry. My Con Law notes (yech). Computer bag. And a fan.

What were you like when you were five?

I was really, really imaginative. I could make games and stories out of anything. I also loved stuffed animals, especially my Little Foot stuffed animal which was ironically the only thing saved when our house caught on fire when I was five years old (but that is another story).

What are you wearing now?

Let me preface this question with that fact that during bar study I have made a conscious effort to get ready every morning despite the fact that there is no need to. However, at around 3 in the afternoon I have been giving up and putting on a kennel club t-shirt and running shorts that I have had literally since the eighth grade. These are some quality shorts people.

What color is your bedroom?

White walls, red bedspread (of course), black bed tables, red lamps.

What’s the last thing you read/are currently reading?

For the record, I just finished Emily Giffen Love the One Your With (click HERE to read the blog post) and it was AMAZING. I spent the whole time in TORTURE wanting to scream at the main character "YOU ARE MAKING THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE!!!" ...but the end was very satisfying, as are all of Emily Giffen's novels. Right now I am embarking on reading the last Harry Potter book because I read it in a manic 24 hour period after it came out for fear that someone would tell me the ending. So I didn't enjoy it and soak up the deatails as much as I should have.

Do you nap a lot?

I have never really been a napper, because if I do nap I don't fall asleep at night. Plus napping is kind of a huge waste of time. However, my 1L year of law school I remember I used to come home on Friday afternoons and sleep for like 3 hours. I was always exhausted. That or depressed.

Who was the last person you hugged?


What’s your current obsession/addiction?

Well the bar has been a little all consuming as of late...but recently I have become obsessed with Bravo television and becoming best friends with all the NYC Housewives...non-enemies of the New Jersey buddies with the Atlanta Housewives...and nothing withe OC Housewives (they are a bunch of mean bitches, no?)

What was the last thing you said aloud?

I haven't spokan in like 3 hours so I have no idea. I was definitely last thinking about Con Law and how confused I am regarding the exceptions to a neutral on its face law that affects religion and whether it violates the Establishment Clause or not (???)

What websites do you always visit when you go online?

Well every morning I log on to gmail...then click over to google reader...then to facebook...then to twitter. Its a sick ritual that must be stopped.

What was the last thing you bought?

Gap T-shirts (you can read about that purchase HERE.)

What are you listening to right now?

The sound of the annoying kids who live in our complex trying to climb up the bolder outside my window.

What is your favorite color, and has it always been your favorite color?

I love love love the color red. My house has tons of red and my wedding was themed red. So yea, I would go with my favorite color being red (but don't worry, I haven't gone all Nancy Reagan yet. But I fully intend on only wearing red pantsuits when I'm over 60).

What song are you currently listening to a lot?

"Alright" by Darius Rucker. Check it out HERE.

If you could have any super power, what would it be?

Teleportation was a good think I would want the power to freeze time. That way I could get way more done, on my schedule.

What is your favorite weather, and why?

I love the fall. Sunny days, mid 50's, wearing jeans and sweater. I also enjoy me some rainy days every once in awhile.

What was the last reality tv show you watched?

(Cheyenne, you hate Taylor Swift? We need to discuss this ASAP.)
I really enjoy reality TV, but haven't watched as much as I should (did I just write SHOULD? Because that is subconciously what I meant. Probably should have written "want" instead. But that's my subconcious at work.) But besides Real Housewives I'm a big Keeping Up With the Kardashians fan.

What is your most challenging goal right now?

Passing the bar and moving to Dallas all in one week. As my friend Maureen said "I don't understand why you and Dan feel the need to do everything in the most difficult way possible. OH! I'm going to get married right after graduation. OH! I am going to get a dog the day after I get back from my honeymoon. OH! I'm going to move across the country two days after taking the bar."

Its something we need to work on.

If you could have a house–totally paid for, fully furnished–anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be?

Rotan happy place:

Favorite vacation spot?

Since I can't REALLY say Rotan since we were only there for the day...I would say London because I am obsessed with the city.

What is your favorite children’s book?

Harry Potter, obviously. I also really loved this book named Mandy which was written by none other then Julie Andrews (THE Julie Andrews. Sound of Music Julie Andrews).

Name one thing you just can’t resist no matter how bad it is for you:

Chocolate cake. OMG I love chocolate cake.

If you could meet anyone famous - dead or alive - who would it be?

First and foremost Oprah. Then Obama. Then Anderson Cooper and/or Lisa Ling.

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

As I said on my post Passion over at Seven Dames a Week "
While I don't have the EXACT answer to that question...I do have a hazy picture. It would involve writing books, running a non-profit, talking to people, and taking legal cases that I was passionate about. It would NOT involve sitting in an office all day, having to report to somebody, and being forced to do assignments that I had no interest in doing."

That was fun! Now you go do the quiz on your blog and link your answers in the comments (shameless plea for reader comment. I know you are reading this. I get my monitization reports and I'm seeing lots of hits. Start commenting!!! ;) )

Teeny Tiny Houses

I recently blogged about my love for crooked houses, I didn't realize some people lived in homes like these!

So I found this blog tonight via Design Milk that is called Teeny Tiny Houses. Essentially they just feature all these teeny tiny houses and how people live in them. I was initially drawn to the article because it was about some people in Idaho, but I later got hooked on going through the gallery and reviewing the fascinating way some people live- and decorate! Amazing! You really should go CHECK IT OUT.

Thanks Ryan!

I should warn you...Toby doesn't bite...but he does have a propensity to lick to death. Think I should have guests sign a liability form waving their rights to sue under battery from getting licked to death?

Torts Talk

Last night I asked Dan a question about a Tort multiple choice question I was not understanding. The topic was when a parent is liable for the acts of their children. The conversation went like this:

ME: I thought parents were always liable for the intentional torts of their children.

DAN: I think they have to have a reasonable belief that their child has a propensity to commit a Tort. It is kind of like knowing your dog bites. You get one free bite then you are liable for all the rest.

ME: Well that sucks! You can't give kids the same standard that you give dogs.

DAN: Why not?

ME: Well because you can put the dog DOWN if it keeps biting people. You can't put down your kid for beating up little Timmy at the bus stop everyday.

DAN: Then you are just going to have to get Timmy's Mom to sign a release form saying if little Timmy and Billy want to play with each other she's going to have to go ahead and release you of liability.

ME: And if she doesn't sign?

DAN: (pondering) I guess you call child services and give them a heads up regarding why your son is never allowed out of the house...

July 20, 2009

Card, Cards, Cards...

During my study break, I was going through all of our wedding cards in hopes of starting my lofty ambition of creatively displaying them in our guest book. So often the cards go unnoticed, but not for me! I love cards. Some of them are just too cute for words, so I thought I would share some of my favorites:

My friend Hannah made us this one and it is probably my favorite. I think its so creative, and even better when we got engaged she sent us a card with one pretty little ring on it- and when we got married it had two rings! Seriously Hannah, open your etsy shop NOW.

You can't fully tell from the picture, but the glitter design is perfection, and the doves are holding two rings that have little engravings on them. Beautiful! (from the Walkers)

I loved the bead work and bow- as well as the pretty edge (from Crissy and Jenna)

Three dimensional AND glitter! (from the Reeders)

I loved the accent on the dress (The Adams)

This one may-or-may not have actually been a Valentine's Day card from my parents, but it was so cute I added it to the pile.

From my bridesmaid Thu, I mean seriously how cute is this? There is a little wire hanging the towels that are actual fabric with embroidery. Love it.

From Dan's groomsmen Steve and his wife Ellie. A beautiful picture and a wonderful sentiment.

Everything on this card was made via overlapping layers and it turned out fabulous! (Thanks Boswells!)

I am a big fan of funny cards, in fact if you get a card from me it is rarely sentimental thus I fully appreciated the hilarity of this card (thanks Jen!)

(PS I'm trying out the signature thing...not sure if it's going to stay...but we're feeling it out...)

I Blame The Bar

It has happened to me 4 times in the past two years. I wake up in the morning and something does not feel right. It is like the gland on the left side of my neck exploded overnight and is pulsating and swollen. I quickly lick my lips and panic. I jump out of bed and immediately rush to the mirror. I see nothing, but I can feel it. The little bump under the skin of my lip, and the giant swollen gland means one thing and one thing only: Cold Sore.

I have never EVER had cold sores in my life, but for some reason of the last two years I have been getting them. Typically in high stress situations, which is totally counterproductive because they just STRESS ME OUT MORE. I used to think they were a curse from the Vain Gods reminding me that looks are not everything and I should stop making fun of girls who wear Ugg boots in the summer because perhaps their feet are cold. But seriously, this is going too far. It feels like a golf ball is on the side of my lip which makes me avoid going out in public for like two weeks. I spend countless amounts of money on medicine and I sulk in my room with a hand mirror trying to WILL it to go away with my mind...

And it happened to me this morning.


Beautiful Wedding

I am in love with THIS wedding. Like brought me to tears in love. You have to check out these pictures.

(its Lee and Derek's wedding...if she posts again you'll to scroll down to find it. The one in the theater.)

July 19, 2009

Sunday Post: Passion

Head on over to Seven Dames a Week to read my Sunday post, Passion.

Missing My Little Buddy

Go Check This Out

So last night there were rumblings on Twitter about a very offensive email sent to the writer of Misadventures of a Newlywed informing her of her duties to take care of her husband. This morning she posted it on her blog and I am having a fit laughing at it and making fun of it. I even brought my laptop into the other room to read it out loud to Dan.

Its a must read. Check out her website HERE.

July 17, 2009

Back to Spokane...

Yesterday Dan and I ventured back to Spokane to spend the last week manically cramming for the bar exam. Most of the 12+ hour journey was spent doing flashcards, but I did manage to catch these shots right at sunset around the Oregon/Washington border.

July 15, 2009

She's a Walker

Dan sent me this cute picture of Kadira via blackberry doing what she does best, walking the other dogs. We thought it was a trick she reserved just for Toby, but apparently Elliot has to deal with her controlling nature as well.

Harry Potter and The Mysterious Ticking Noise

In honor of going to see the new Harry Potter this afternoon I am posting this childish, yet hysterical, Harry Potter youtube video for your enjoyment. No need to watch if you have a Harry Potter superiority complex.


This is some crazy video of when Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire during the Pepsi Commercial. Check it out.

An Open Letter to President Obama

Dear President Obama,

I am writing you today because I need a job. I voted for you because I thought you would be able to get me one, so I am now cashing in my chips and asking you to go ahead and get a move on in regards to this little economy situation. I hate to tell you this, but the economy is in worse shape then I even thought possible, especially for us poor unlicensed lawyers moving to TX. I have had essentially three choices in my job search. Shall I elaborate on my job plight? I think I shall...

Jobs I Am Not Even Remotely Qualified For: These are all the federal positions that requires 5 years of experience and a foreign language capability. Since I am desperate, my cover letters try to merge three years of legal internships with "working for a senator" and "front desk attendant" as five years of legal experience. I also have placed on my resume that I speak fluent British, Australian, and Irish...and some high school German. I have not received any calls back.

Jobs I am Qualified for Except the Fact...:..that I am not really, nor do I plan on, ever being licensed to practice in the state of TX. No biggie right? I could be like a GHOST WRITER. I could work my little ass off for your office and you could take all the credit for my brilliance. Oh btw I am leaving in a year. Thanks for the training though! What? You have 1,000 applications from eager young lawyers who ARE licensed to practice in Dallas and want to stay on permanently. No, I totally understand.

Jobs I Am Far Overqualified For But Am Desperate: Uh today I got this really great rejection letter that said my resume was far superior to anybody else who applied, but there was no way they could ever pay me what I deserve and they are looking for somebody with a little less experience. I almost wrote them back saying "you place far too much emphasis on the value of a legal degree. Let me tell you, its like I didn't even go to law school because while studying for the bar I am recognizing that I really don't remember anything. You can just magic marker that law degree of my resume." But, ya know, I have like five ounces of pride left so I didn't do that. But I thought about it. Seriously.

So you see my plight Mr. President. I really could use a stimulus package or perhaps a federal position created just for me? I would like it to be for career students, with massive summer internship experience (only), who will work hard but like to have every other hour to spend checking google reader and blogging.

Please make the happen. Send my love to Michelle and girls.


PS Please tell Rahm Emanuel that he is no George Stephanopoulos but oh so close.

July 14, 2009

Video Flashback

Please don't ask me how I found THIS as I may-or-may-not was googling the words to "The Way You Make Me Feel" in order to sing along more precisely. Just know that I did find it, and it is amazing. Britney's ability to lipsynch is incomparable to that of any other. Even Micheal's.

July 13, 2009

Love The One You're With

Every once in awhile I get really burnt out with bar study and I just have to stop. Today it hit me around 7 PM and I was like "Okay. I'm not getting anything out of this anymore. I'm done." I decided I needed to get out of the house so I went to Wal-Mart to buy wine (obvi). While there I magically found myself in the book aisle secretly longing for better days of reading for pleasure. That is when I came across the new Emily Giffin novel "Love the One You're With." You may have noticed my obsession with Emily Giffin not only in my post Trashy Reading Update...but also in numerous tweets proclaiming my adoration for her writing. I seriously have not found an author I have loved this much since Marian Keyes. So I bought the book, despite my better judgment, and have taken from 8-12 off to read, read, read.

And so far it is fabulous.

And I owe Maggie a huge thank you for suggesting this author. (Maggie, have you read this? Because if not, I'm sending it to you when I'm done.)

July 12, 2009

Sunday Post

Sunday Post over on Seven Dames a Week entitled "What's in a Name?" Comments on this one highly encouraged (and needed).


Yesterday my family decided to go on an impromptu trip to Yellowstone for my younger brother Ryan's 21st birthday. Given that I had not been to Yellowstone since I was EIGHT and the fact that it was my brother's birthday I decided to forgo studying for the day and have some fun. The choice was well worth it as it was a fantastic day.

I do not know about other entrances, but entering through the West Yellowstone is a little depressing since you can really still see how badly the fires from years and years ago really damaged the area. These mountaintops used to be covered with thick evergreen trees that are now struggling to reproduce.

Tragically we did not see as many animals as we normally are used to seeing on trips to Yellowstone. We saw a ton of elk, two bald eagles, and a wolf which everyone else in my family may-or-may-not think was a coyote but I know was a wolf. We did not see any bison. Super odd since I definitely have childhood memories of being in stuck in traffic forever as bison crossed the road. We also did not see any moose which made Toby totally devastated.

I had forgot about all the crazy shit you can pull over and see while driving through the park. I don't know that this picture fully captures the vastness of this blue pool, but lets just say it went down forever.

Apparently every year some idiot decided to jump in these mini geysers and dies (because they are hot...and they smell like rotten eggs). You wouldn't think people would be this stupid but the signs everywhere indicated otherwise.

My brother Ryan is the most talented photographer I know and was in heaven the whole day. We literally had to drag him away from places. All his pictures were obviously flawless.

My parents are so freaking cute, not to mention very patient with their granddog while his Mom went off gallivanting in the woods.

Old Faithful is kind of like the Glockenspiel in Munich. Like you gotta see it...but its kind of like "That's it? I saw the same thing by a geyser on the side of the road." Still, the shopping and atmosphere around Old Faithful is worth the hour and half wait to see it go off.

There she goes!
And then she's done.

Bee on a flower

Tree branches

Wood flower blossoms

Yellowstone Lake



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