October 20, 2009
Remember my beautiful fireplace? It no longer looks like this anymore...
A little over a week ago I was laying on the couch watching Oprah with Toby when from behind the television a wasp dropped down from the window blinds. I, in accordance with my Melissaphobic self, had a mild panic attack and locked myself in a room upstairs until Dan came home to kill it. I have killed cockroaches and moths and giant spiders by myself in the house, but I draw the line at wasps/bees/hornets what have you. No way, no how. I am not going near them.
Then, this weekend Dan and I were once again in the living room when we see a hornet skimming the air all the way up to the highest window in our house. I locked myself in the bedroom and yelled to Dan that if he wanted to see me for the rest of the weekend he would figure out a way to lure the hornet down and kill it in the most painful manner possible.
About a half hour later I am on the phone and Dan storms in with no shirt gasping for breath. I am like "What the hell is wrong with you?" and he is like "They are everywhere. Like eight hornets all of a sudden decided to attack me. I am going for bug spray."
The next thing I know Dan is running around the house spraying deathly bug spray everywhere. At one point he busts into the room I am hiding in, slams open the window, and is scaling the roof of our house up to the chimney to spray bug spray down it. Pretty sure we can never use our chimney again. Good news, fairly certain Dan killed all the hornets.
When I was informed that the coast was clear I came downstairs to assess the damage. After careful analysis we decided that the hornets had to be coming in from a nest in the fireplace. This meant we had to put something over the beautiful fireplace to stop them from coming in. It now looks like this:
When we were done I looked at it in disgust, but Dan was like "I think it looks kind of good!" At which point I had to walk away because living in a house is way more work then I ever expected.